Yesterday, it came to my attention that I had received a letter from my son, who is now living in the United States. Earlier in the week, I noticed an opened letter from him lying on the counter. I unconsciously wondered how it had come to be there but did not take the time to pick it up, thinking all that was needed was filing. Later, learning that this same letter was his most recent--and still unread by myself--left me feeling just a tad annoyed. This was not the first time my personal boundaries had been trespassed. Someone in my family had been too curious to wait and had just helped themselves to the letter's content without comment or concern.
While I had been given permission to share these letters with the family, this acquiescence had come with one proviso: keep those parts designated as "confidential" private. In this particular letter one page labelled "Do Not Share with Family" left my son's expectations very clear. Nothing earth shattering or other oriented had been discussed, it was just a personal talk between a son and his Mom.
So now what?
I tried, in private, to discuss the issue with the offender, but was immediately rebuffed with the comment that the letter wasn't really mine ... I was merely the recipient. The news was meant for everyone: end of discussion.
I believe relationships--be they personal, business, or otherwise--are founded upon and maintained on the basis of trust. Failure to respect personal and/or organizational boundaries constitutes a breach of trust. And, once lost, is often hard to regain. A reputation is built or eroded one decision at a time. Perhaps, the most cost effective discipline an individual or an organization can develop is a healthy respect for boundaries of the personal kind. Do so and, ironically enough, the dividends of less information often becomes more.
